How to Get Your Ex to Stay Your Friend Again

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Breakups are hard. Losing the companionship of your ex is part what makes breaking up so difficult, peculiarly if yous were friends earlier you lot started dating. This commodity will teach you lot how to decide whether or not you are ready to exist friends with your ex, and how to go about establishing a platonic friendship with him or her.

1. 1

   Be sure yous are really interested in a platonic relationship. If you desire to start a friendship with an ex in the hopes that y'all will get dorsum together, then y'all are definitely not set to be friends. Take some time to seriously consider whether or not you are really ready to be platonic.

   • If you lot are unsure of your feelings, consider this question: How would you feel if y'all learned that your ex is seeing someone new? If imagining your ex with someone new makes your face up turn scarlet with rage, then you are probably not ready to be friends.

2. 2

   Determine whether you take spent enough time autonomously. If the breakdown is still fresh, and then you should spend a few weeks, or even a few months, without talking to or seeing your ex on a regular basis. This phase is central in learning to split up the relationship from the friendship, and gives both yous and your ex enough time to grieve the breakup.^[1]

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3. 3

   Don't rush. While yous may be eager to see your ex over again, be enlightened that you might still be emotionally dependent on this person. Wait until your feelings for your ex have subsided.

   • Focus on your hobbies, shut friends, and school/work. Though it may be difficult, you will eventually larn to live happily without having abiding contact with your ex.^[2]

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1. ane

   Allow your ex know that you want to exist friends. Once plenty fourth dimension has passed, contact your ex and permit him or her know that you would like to maintain a friendship.^[3]

   • Send a friendly email, text, or telephone call.

2. 2

   Be patient. If your ex is non ready to be friends, he or she is probably withal grieving the loss of the human relationship. Don't get upset if this is the instance. Give your ex the time he or she needs to cope with the rest feelings from the breakup.^[4]

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1. 1

   Make non-romantic plans. Don't meet late at night, or at a identify that you lot used to frequent as a couple. Instead of going out to a candlelit dinner, for case, meet for a cup of java.^[5]

2. 2

   Meet in public. This will decrease the likelihood of fighting or getting intimate with your ex.

3. 3

   Go along the conversation light. Avert bringing upward aspects of your one-time relationship, or talking about the person y'all are currently dating, if you are seeing someone. Instead, talk near what yous have been upwardly to lately, mutual friends, plans for the future, and/or current events in the news or pop civilisation.

4. 4

   Exist friendly, but not flirtatious. While you want to be dainty to your ex, attempt non to be overly flirtatious or suggestive.

   • Apparel appropriately. Everybody wants to expect good in front of their ex, but dressing too provocatively volition send the incorrect message.

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1. i

   Don't accept sex with your ex. This will undoubtedly lead to the question of getting back together, and will demolition your chance of establishing a platonic friendship.

2. 2

   Don't fall back into old patterns. While maintaining a friendship with anyone, ex or not, requires occasional contact via telephone or computer, don't start texting or calling your ex on a daily basis.^[six] This volition inevitably create a faux hope of getting back together.

3. iii

   Know when you back off. If either you lot or your ex is getting too attached and old feelings start to arise, then don't strength the friendship. This is probably a sign that the breakdown is too fresh, and that you need to spend more fourth dimension autonomously.

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• Question

  Is information technology hard to stay friends with your ex?

  

  Lisa Shield is a love and relationship practiced based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's caste in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.

  

  Dating Autobus

  Expert Answer

  You have to set really clear boundaries with your relationship to avert falling dorsum into old patterns.

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• Try to avoid seeking information about your ex via friends or the net. This volition merely cause yous to obsess and mayhap fifty-fifty take your feelings injure.

• Consider whether or not you however call back most your ex constantly. If you do, then y'all are probably not over the breakdown and should non effort to establish a friendship yet.

• Wait until y'all have started dating somebody new before seeing your ex. This volition give you more confidence, and assistance yous get over your ex so that you can start to view him or her in a platonic mode.

• Not every ex will want a platonic friendship with you. Its a pitiful thing to hear, but your meliorate off respecting this and not forcing a friendship that isn't wanted.

• Endeavour non to let things get awkward. Talk nigh comfortable and normal things. And come across upwards at a comfortable, not-romantic place.

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• Be prepared to learn that your ex is dating somebody else. While the general rule of thumb is to not talk about a new relationship, your ex might non know that. Set yourself for the possibility that he or she has moved on.

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Article Summary 10

Staying friends with your ex can be complicated, but if you're both on the same page and you have things slowly, you can make it work. Before you try to establish a friendship with your ex, brand sure yous but want to be friends, otherwise things might go painful and awkward. If you bankrupt up recently, take some time apart so you can heal. When you start to spend time with your ex again, stick to hanging out in non-romantic public places, like a café or park, so it doesn't get awkward. Y'all should also avoid talking well-nigh your relationship or your current partners, so y'all don't bring upwards painful memories. Instead, talk about neutral things like current events, mutual friends, and pop culture. For more than tips, including how to avoid flirting with your ex, read on!

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